AMSMJ Awards JD Vance "Performative Politician of the Year"
Vice President Masters Art of Political Shape-Shifting with Unprecedented Flexibility
The Daily Howe-itzer Political Desk
Read more →
Archive
Our archived blog posts
AI Becomes First Artificial Defendant After Fabricating Australian Murder Case Evidence
Aussie Supreme Court Justice Rules Court Remains Kangaroo, Not Pervert, Despite AI's Best Efforts
Melbourne Bureau Chief
Read more →
Defense Secretary Hegseth Fires Intelligence Chief Over Iran Assessment, Explains Military Strategy Through Bar Analogies
Drunk with power: Pentagon chief compares nuclear strikes to "shots well served," fires general for being a "party pooper"
The Daily Howe-itzer Political Desk
Read more →
Florida Man Crashes Florida Man's Party, Triggers Unprecedented Crime Wave as Entire Town of Westington Declared Crime Scene
Stolen Ambulance Chase, Segway DUI, and Couch-Hiding Felon Cap Off Night That Began with Gator and Beer
Staff Reporter
Read more →
BREAKING: Bank of Muntrureal Becomes First Institution in History to Deny Itself a Commercial Loan
Citing "overwhelming credit risk," bank's loan committee votes unanimously against bank's loan application
The Daily Howe-itzer News Desk
Read more →
Local Retiree's Magic Zucchini Seeds Overwhelm Entire Neighborhood; Fairy Tale Merchant Still at Large
EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: Wisconsin vacation purchase leads to backyard agricultural dilemma
Staff Reporter
Read more →
EXCLUSIVE: Captured on Camera! Obama/Biden White House Executive Gardener Turned Insurance Salesman Caught Planting Trump's Name in Epstein Files!
Caveman Mentor Denies Training Accused Document Tamperer: "I Only Do Plants, Gary"
The Daily Howe-itzer News Desk
Read more →
EXCLUSIVE: DOJ Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche Emerges from Maxwell Meeting Carrying Mysterious "Truth Box," Claims All Epstein Evidence is "Fake News"
Maxwell's attorney disputes Schumer's corruption claims, cites only offensive odor as 'English Leather and Brut cologne'
The Daily Howe-itzer Political Desk
Read more →
Structural Engineers, Developers Concerned About Structural Integrity as Cities No Longer “Built on Rock & Roll”
Experts Fear Even More Infrastructure Collapse as Ozzy's Departure Leaves Foundations Unstable
The Daily Howe-itzer News Desk
Read more →
Trump Comes Out as Trans-Presidential, Identifies as Previous Administrations When Convenient
President Claims He Was "Surprised" Biden Appointed Fed Chair He Personally Selected in 2017
James Howe
Read more →
BREAKING: Epstein List Mysteriously Vanishes After Bizarre Encounter with Men in Black
Exclusive eyewitness account suggests neurolyzer technology may be involved
James Howe
Read more →
Trump Declares Himself Caesar After Failed Papal Bid, Announces White House UFC Gladiator-Style Games for America's 250th
Captured Congressional Democrats to Face KFC-Addicted Lion While Republicans Volunteer for Grape-Feeding Duties
James Howe
Read more →
Penn Strips Trans Swimmer's Records, Secretly Plans "Ghost Division" Where Athlete Can Win Everything Forever
University Creates Parallel Athletic Universe While Corporate Sponsors Rush to Find the "Just Right" Market Sweet Spot
James Howe
Read more →
Musk Recovering From Stab Wounds - Took Multiple Trump Steak Knives To The Back
BREAKING: Tech billionaire left bleeding after meeting with President over tax credit elimination bill
James Howe
Read more →
Americans, Majority of US Cops Still Running on Dunkin' - More Black Cops Turning to Krispy Kreme
A deep dive into law enforcement's great donut divide
James Howe
Read more →